Today’s my birthday. I’m twenty-two, officially ;)
I’ve spent the last month in Europe and am finally back in New York. I performed my one-woman show called “Grooming My Ass” at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for two weeks. And then I had to go to Berlin and Dublin after to party and celebrate.
Here are thirty things I learned across the pond:
EDINBURGH, UK:
1.) Pseudo-quasi-trauma-dumping at the world’s largest theatre festival is actually really fun if you let it be.
2.) You just have attachment issues and need to get over him.
3.) It’s hard being young and pretty and so successful.
4.) I need to be more humble.
5.) Having a crush on 5’6 bisexual comedian is completely normal, and there is no need to seek medical attention.
6.) It is not your job to hold anyone’s hand through their journey with their sexuality, but it can be really fun if they’re nice.
7.) NO ONE IN NYC KNOWS HOW TO DANCE!!! (ARMS PEOPLE ARMS)
8.) Graveyards are not sexy.
9.) Writing fiction is more fun.
10.) A bad gut feeling is all you need to know something isn't right.
BERLIN, GERMANY:
1.) Sometimes going in the disgusting pool at the club is fun… but only if you’re in Berlin.
2.) Move your legs when you dance.
3.) All adventurous women do.
4.) You will study a language for eight years and still ask everyone if they can speak English.
5.) You can achieve your goals in life and still feel unfulfilled.
6.) Currywurst is goated.
7.) Hanging out in a park after going to an art museum can be just as fun as staying in the club until 7 am.
8.) Weed is the devil.
9.) Calling someone “just very unfashionable” is such a good read.
10.) Sit like a grown-up and don’t have your dirty ass shoes on any seats.
DUBLIN, IRELAND:
1.) If a guy is really drunk and offers you a drink, do not take the drink. He’s too drunk, but still wants to fuck you.
2.) If you want to get out of that situation, hand him the drink back. (This actually worked.)
3.) Bisexual men are not at the gay club to fuck trannys.
4.) Gay clubs aren’t for trans women and that’s okay.
5.) Dark beer puts me to sleep, and I kinda love that.
6.) If someone is staring at you just shrug at them. It really catches them off guard.
7.) Hostels are not fun. Bring earplugs for the snorers.
8.) Storytelling is artform that has roots in my blood. If you went to the leprechaun museum you would know that.
9.) You will miss home even in the most abhorrent political time of your life.
10.) Flying alone is really sexy.
Thank you for reading my list. I am trying my best not to sound like someone who just came back from their study abroad to all of my friends.
And it’s my birthday so…
ALL ADVENTUROUS WOMEN DO
dublin number 9 is so real. Thanks for your insightful look on life!